This is the Annual I’m Back Post…

It seems as if I’m always doing this little post. It’s become an annual angle (say that 50 times, I dare you. And, say it to a dude named Anal if you can. It’s a genuine name and it means “fire”… that’s whole new level of explicit content…snigger, snigger.). At the end of every season or the beginning of every season, how you view it depends on how you see this blog, I write this little post announcing that I will be posting new stuff. Circular logic is wonderful.

This season, this announcement comes early. Why? Because I’ve decided to focus on this blog more. Yay!

Posts will be more frequent and dare I say it, better. Yay!

Yay blog padh lena. Yay!

Just for the sake of it. Yay!

If those jokes weren’t enough, I want to welcome you with another one on the theme of coming back – your reward for bothering to read this. Here goes…

“Steven Spielberg was busy discussing his new action adventure about famous classical composers. Bruce Willis, Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger were in the room.

Steven Spielberg: Who do you want to play?

Bruce Willis: I’ve always been a big fan of Chopin. I’ll play him.

SS: And you, Sylvester?

Sly Stallone: Mozart’s the one for me!

SS: And what about you, my dear Austrian, who will you be?

Arnie: I’ll be Bach!”

So, there you go.

Intro over…

I’m Bach.

Indian Super League – 2016

On to the meat of the matter then – the good stuff. Last season, we found which team is going to be the legacy carrier of the Indian Super League (Bengaluru FC fans hold on a while) and it was Atletico De Kolkata …oops hold on the name is lame now… Amar, Tomar, Kolkata. I mean, who does that shit?

Frikkin’ AMAR, TOMAR KOLKATA. It’s so lame that even if they had gone with Anda Tutunda Kolkata, it wouldn’t be as bad. Talk about lack of creativity and sheer hubris. But then again, as Sarahah fan boys will ask: what’s in a name?

The crux is that ATK are now the team with the most Indian Super League trophies. Regardless of what you Bengaluru FC fans will say, you’re as of now the nobodies of Indian Super League.

Before you go for my throat, I expect you to become somebody this season. I expect you lot to win the Indian Super League 2017. You did after all put Indian football on the global map as much as the Indian Super League did – you two time I-League Champion, you! You AFC Cup finalists, you! Just don’t let football purists like me down now.

Indian Super League – 2017

In case, the people amongst you who only act like they love football are wondering how Bengaluru FC are being mentioned in the same sentence as the Indian Super League – the big news of this season is that they, along with Jamshedpur FC have joined the BEST LEAGUE IN THE WORLD! Ahem…

That’s the first big news of the 2017 season. The second big news is that the Indian Super League is getting closer to being a proper league. It will now run for 5 months, instead of 3 months. The matches will be spaced apart, which means that players will get a break. This means that injuries will be fewer and rotation more about tactics and merit than pure fatigue. This means better analyses, better strategies, and better gameplay from the teams along with what I would hope better posts from yours truly.

I mentioned AMAR, TOMAR, KOLKATA earlier (if you love life, please read and speak that name with excessive sarcasm from now on. It is bloody lame. What was wrong with simple ATK FC?). Again, for the ones living under Dwayne Johnson (the ladies are excused of this neglect of their intellect), Atletico De Madrid and ATK have broken away from each other and will now be playing the role of two star-crossed lovers wondering what could have been.

There was a legal wrangle where Atletico Madrid wanted branding and marketing freedom but ATK refused because they had the majority share in the team. So, Atletico Madrid pulled out, went to Mexico, and left us with a turd of a name for ISL’s most successful team.

Apart from those three super news pieces about the ISL, there are your usual stories about foreigners being signed by various teams. I’m going to do a quick breeze (it’s not a fart) of foreign signings made by Indian Super League franchises just to sum things up.

P.S. At a later date, I’ll do a proper analysis for each foreign and Indian star along with a squad analysis once the teams solidify a little.